Ever since I'm alone, I began to adapt and live my life it is now. I'm starting to enjoy being alone.
At the start, it was kind of hard. The feeling of being lost just sucks; adding on the frequent fluctuating mood swings. Deep down inside, I felt like a total "bi-polar" freak!
Things worsen! I lost hope in people and in giving! People took advantage of me and sometimes, I just felt unwanted and irritably annoying trying to get the attention of people. It seems as though no one ever cares and I'm really tired of trying; Frustrated and deeply disappointed!
Slowly, I tuned my mood and focus on different perspectives. I reflected and noticed I've changed! When I was attached or with my friends, I was constantly crapping and playing the role of the "clown" or "entertainer".
However, when I walked alone, I begin to study my surroundings more. I took notice of people around me - the way they are interacting, their outfits and behavior. I started sizing them and reason out why they're acting a certain way.
Kids are the best subjects I had! I love their innocent and genuine smile! Laugh when they are happy and throw tantrum when they're unhappy.
I began to devoted part of my time on my hobby, Photography. Recently, I also picked up reading. I had never imagine myself so engross in reading! In the past, the words of the books are like tiny hypnotist which spins out from the pages, juggles around my eyes and 1, 2... *I fell asleep*.
Now, I would find that a good read brought me across boundaries and into a person's life. I could feel myself in his / her shoes living that very moment it is narrated. I began to process and think more than I used to. I also picked up certain skills which was taught in the book.
Things happens for a reason and do not be too stubborn. This way doesn't work out, find another path and make it work! I was greatly inspired by Shoko Tendo. How she lived a tough life and slowly matured.
Lastly, I shall end of with, "When there's a will there's a way!"
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